How To Win Heart of Bookworms

How To Win Heart of Bookworms

They don’t want jewelry or flowers or even dinner. An old dusty book would win heart of bookworm faster than anything. Here are a few steps how you can win heart of bookworms. Ladies and Gentlemen, take notes.

BUY THEM BOOKS.

How To Win Heart of Bookworms

Many books, don’t bother being stingy. Are you serious about wanting to win their affections or not?

AFFIRM YOUR BOOKWORM THAT ALL THEIR READING HAS DEFINITELY MADE THEM SMARTER.

How To Win Heart of Bookworms

This will encourage them to read more and also make them pleased and greatly reduce the risk of them smacking you in the head with a hardback.

ACCEPT THAT IT’S “BOOKSTORES AND LIBRARIES BEFORE FOOD AND CLOTHES”.

How To Win Heart of Bookworms

Because bookworms have priorities. Books are food, after all.

DON’T ASK THEM “WHAT ARE YOU READING” IF YOU DON’T CARE.

How To Win Heart of Bookworms

It’s annoying, okay? And bookworms know if you don’t care. If you’re just interrupting their reading time with mindless questions like what are you reading — expect TO GET A PAPER CUT AND THEN HAVE THEM POUR LEMON JUICE ON IT. So, just don’t.

ALTERNATELY, YOU COULD ASK THEM “IS THAT A GOOD BOOK”?

How To Win Heart of Bookworms

Because this is an excellent questions and a lot of bookworms do like discussing their feelings on a book.

BRING THEM SNACKS.

How To Win Heart of Bookworms

Sometimes a book is so intense they forget to eat. Or, well, they might eat, but it will probably be chocolate for their emotions. SO. Cook them good dinners.

COMFORT THEM WHILE THEY CRY OVER THE DEATH OF FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.

How to win Heart of bookworms

And by “comfort” I mean, a) bring them chocolate, b) give them a mop, c) fill a bathtub with marshmallows so they can comfortably and safely drown their sorrows, or even d) buy them a small planet they can rule to cheer them up.

MAKE SURE THEY HAVE ADEQUATE SHELF SPACE.

How to win Heart of bookworms

This could mean building shelves. This could be standing with your arms out and being a shelf. Oh but, small note: if you’re building the shelves, please make sure they’re STRONG shelves or you’ll have to a) fix it, or b) die under 3498 hardback novels.

GO TO LIBRARY SALES WITH THEM.

You can be useful and stand guard over their pile OR carry their suitcase of newly found purchases.

SUPPORT THEM WHEN THEY GO TO AUTHOR EVENTS.

How to win Heart of bookworms

Also, it’d be nice if you took flashcards and wrote little prompts on them (like “remember your name is Bob!”) and then stand behind the author and wave these cards so the bookworm, who is overcome by feels at this point, will remember how to look semi-intelligent.

MAKE SURE THEY HAVE A COMFY PLACE TO READ.

If you want your bookworm to thrive, make sure they are comfortable. That’s all I can say.

IT WOULD BE GOOD IF THIS “COMFY PLACE” WAS A HAMMOCK, OR BED, OR CHAIR, OR THRONE.

Thrones aren’t always comfortable, so shop wisely.

BUY THEM BOOKISH MERCHANDISE.

It is always appropriate to have mugs that say “Shh I’m Reading” and tee-shirts that say “Book Dragon” and to live in houses that are sculpted like books.

IF YOU ARE JUST TOTALLY INEPT AT UNDERSTANDING THEIR BOOK FANGIRLING, MAKE SURE THEY HAVE INTERNET ACCESS.

Just accept that you have failings, okay? Make sure they have actual bookworm friends to debrief with and your bookworm will be so much happier.

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WORK OUT AND BE FIT.

Because, as I said, you will be the packhorse for all book-buying excursions. or do Yoga for the bookworm so you can be fit.

IF YOU ARE TOO PUNY AND WEAK, THEN BUY THEM A KINDLE.

This is the cheaters way out, but, well, one must do what they can do.

BUY THEM BOOKS.

How to win Heart of bookworms

Did I mention this?? Oh well. It needs be noted copiously. It is the way to win heart of bookworms.


 

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