Eric LaRocca, known for his Bram Stoker Award-nominated and Splatterpunk Award-winning work Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, returns with At Dark, I Become Loathsome. This new novella dives into the harrowing realms of trauma, death, and love, weaving a grim yet oddly hopeful tale that stands as a testament to LaRocca’s skill in blending horror with tender humanism. This novella is a mixed bag—haunting and evocative, yet occasionally stumbling in its execution.
Plot Summary
The plot takes turn with a strikingly raw and unsettling line: “If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.” This message, posted on the shadowy corners of the internet, is the first whisper of a deeply tragic story. Ashley Lutin, the protagonist, is a man marooned in grief following the death of his wife and the disappearance of his young son. His sorrow has led him to construct a ritualistic practice designed to guide others who hover on the edge of life and death—a peculiar yet altruistic attempt to offer salvation through pain.
The story takes a twisted turn when Ashley encounters Jinx, a mysterious figure who seems like the perfect candidate for his next ritual. However, what begins as a potential rescue mission transforms into a darkly symbiotic relationship, where secrets unravel and the lines between healer and victim blur disturbingly. Through LaRocca’s lens, the novella navigates the complex interplay of guilt, redemption, and the haunting allure of death.
Character Analysis
Ashley Lutin
Ashley is a deeply sympathetic yet unsettling character. His grief is palpable, his trauma raw, and his quest for redemption both noble and horrifying. LaRocca crafts Ashley with a delicate balance, allowing readers to feel his pain while questioning his methods. However, at times, Ashley’s motivations feel underdeveloped, with certain actions appearing more as plot devices than genuine character-driven decisions.
Jinx
Jinx is perhaps the novella’s most enigmatic creation. His introduction brings an electric charge to the narrative, and his backstory, when revealed, is both revolting and tragically human. Yet, his role in the story feels constrained by the novella’s brevity. There is a sense that more exploration into his psyche could have elevated the impact of his character arc.
Writing Style
LaRocca’s prose is, as always, lush and lyrical. His ability to draw beauty from horror is remarkable, painting vivid imagery with a painter’s precision. The novella thrives in moments of quiet terror—those intimate, hushed exchanges between Ashley and Jinx that pulse with unease. However, while the writing style often enhances the atmosphere, it occasionally drifts into overwrought territory, disrupting the story’s momentum.
Themes
Death and Redemption
LaRocca’s exploration of death as both an ending and a potential beginning is a core strength of this novella. Through Ashley’s rituals and Jinx’s revelations, the story confronts the paradox of finding life through the acceptance of death. It’s a theme that resonates deeply, particularly in its portrayal of grief as a labyrinthine journey rather than a linear path.
Trauma and Healing
The novella bravely tackles trauma, not only as a personal experience but as a contagion that spreads through relationships. The dynamic between Ashley and Jinx serves as a microcosm of this idea—where pain, when shared, can either heal or further wound. However, the thematic execution sometimes feels heavy-handed, with certain dialogues veering into didacticism.
Critique
At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a novella of contrasts. It shines in its atmospheric horror and poignant reflections on loss, yet struggles with pacing and character development. The brevity of the novella, while contributing to its intensity, also hinders the full exploration of its ambitious themes. Certain plot points, particularly surrounding Ashley’s rituals, feel rushed and leave lingering questions.
Additionally, while the relationship between Ashley and Jinx is compelling, it often feels more like an allegorical construct than a fully realized human connection. This abstraction, while interesting, creates a barrier to emotional investment, keeping readers at arm’s length from the story’s intended impact.
Recommendations
Readers who appreciate horror that delves into the human psyche will find much to admire here. Fans of The Ritual by Adam Nevill or The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones will likely appreciate LaRocca’s blend of psychological and supernatural horror. For those who enjoy queer narratives interwoven with dark themes, Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth offers a similarly layered experience.
Final Verdict
At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a haunting and ambitious work that showcases Eric LaRocca’s talent for marrying horror with profound emotional depth. While not without its flaws, the novella remains a worthy read for those drawn to stories that balance the grotesque with the beautiful. With a balanced mix of praise and critique, this book offers a memorable, if not entirely fulfilling, journey into the dark corners of the human soul.
