In “What If I Never Get Over You,” Paige Toon masterfully crafts a love story that is as devastating as it is uplifting. Set against the backdrop of stunning European landscapes and a stately Welsh mansion, this novel follows the journey of Ellie and Ash, two souls who connect intensely during three days in Lisbon, only to be separated by circumstances beyond their control. Six years later, fate brings them back together when Ellie accepts a gardening position at a grand estate in Wales, unaware that the son of the viscount is none other than the man she’s never been able to forget.
Paige Toon’s eleventh adult novel cements her reputation as one of the most emotionally resonant voices in contemporary romance. The story unfolds in four parts, tracing the characters’ initial meeting, their heart-wrenching separation, unexpected reunion, and ultimately, their journey toward healing and belonging. What makes this novel stand out in Toon’s impressive repertoire is the depth of the characters’ internal struggles and the authentic exploration of class differences, trauma, and the courage it takes to forge your own path.
A Visceral Connection That Transcends Time
The novel’s opening in Lisbon is pure magic. Toon expertly captures the disorienting thrill of travel and the instant chemistry between Ellie and Ash. Their connection feels authentic rather than contrived—they’re two lonely souls finding unexpected companionship while exploring a foreign city. Their conversations flow naturally, touching on everything from silly observations about swimming pools shaped like pineapples to profound discussions about their family dynamics.
The initial romance moves at breakneck speed without feeling rushed. Their stolen moments—sleeping under the stars on a Portuguese beach, exploring the mysterious Initiation Well in Sintra—are rendered with such tactile detail that readers will feel transported alongside them. Toon excels at capturing the sensory experience of falling in love in a foreign country, where everything feels heightened and more vivid.
Class Dynamics and Identity: More Than a Simple Romance
Where “What If I Never Get Over You” truly shines is in its exploration of identity and belonging. The revelation that Ash is actually Ashton Berkeley, son of a viscount and heir to a 500-year-old estate, adds layers of complexity to what might otherwise be a straightforward second-chance romance.
Ash’s dual identity—speaking with a Welsh accent among the estate workers but adopting a more aristocratic tone with his family—serves as a powerful metaphor for the class divide that threatens to keep the lovers apart. Meanwhile, Ellie’s firm stance against becoming part of the aristocracy creates genuine tension. Her resistance isn’t mere stubbornness but stems from deeply held beliefs about what kind of life and legacy she wants.
Toon doesn’t shy away from exploring how power, privilege, and family expectations shape our choices, making this novel more substantive than many in the genre. The controlling, manipulative figure of Lord Berkeley adds a Gothic undertone to portions of the story, and his sinister presence raises the stakes considerably.
Flaws That Add Dimension Rather Than Detract
The novel isn’t without imperfections. The middle section occasionally gets bogged down in repetitive inner monologues as Ellie struggles with her feelings about Ash’s true identity. Some readers may find the six-year separation frustrating, wondering why neither character made more effort to find the other sooner.
Additionally, the speed at which Ellie and Ash reconnect in the cabin might strain credibility for some. Ash’s transition from hostile hermit to loving partner happens rather quickly, though Toon does an admirable job of grounding this evolution in the characters’ shared history.
These minor issues, however, don’t significantly diminish the novel’s emotional impact. In fact, the characters’ flaws and mistakes make them more relatable. Ellie’s tendency to overthink and Ash’s habit of retreating when hurt feel authentic to their established personalities.
Strengths That Make This Novel Soar:
- Evocative settings: From the sun-drenched streets of Lisbon to the misty Welsh countryside, Toon’s descriptions transport readers directly into the story’s locations.
- Authentic character development: Both protagonists grow throughout the narrative in believable ways, addressing their past traumas and learning to trust again.
- Emotional resonance: The novel tackles grief, belonging, and the courage to choose your own path with sensitivity and depth.
- Nuanced supporting characters: Secondary figures like Beca and Philippa Berkeley are complex individuals with their own motivations rather than simple plot devices.
- Themes of found family: The community at Berkeley Hall provides a heartwarming counterpoint to the more dysfunctional biological families.
Shortcomings Worth Noting:
- Some scenes in the middle section feel repetitive as Ellie cycles through the same concerns.
- Certain coincidences strain credibility (Ellie happening to land a job at Ash’s family estate).
- The final part moves somewhat hastily through major life decisions.
- A few minor characters could be more developed to enhance the world-building.
Beyond the Romance: A Novel About Choosing Your Path
What elevates “What If I Never Get Over You” above many contemporary romances is its thoughtful exploration of legacy, duty, and personal fulfillment. Both Ellie and Ash must confront family expectations that threaten to suffocate their authentic selves. Ellie’s journey from people-pleaser to someone who pursues her passion regardless of her parents’ disapproval is particularly satisfying.
Meanwhile, Ash’s decision regarding his inheritance raises profound questions about responsibility to the past versus obligation to future generations. The novel doesn’t offer simple answers but instead presents the complexity of these choices with empathy for all perspectives.
The gardening motif works brilliantly throughout, serving as both literal setting and metaphor for growth, patience, and nurturing what matters. Toon clearly researched horticultural practices thoroughly, and these details add richness to Ellie’s professional journey without ever feeling like information dumps.
For Fans of Character-Driven Contemporary Romance
Readers who enjoyed Toon’s previous works such as “Five Years From Now” and “Someone I Used to Know” will find familiar emotional territory here, though “What If I Never Get Over You” feels more ambitious in scope. The novel will also appeal to fans of Josie Silver’s “One Day in December,” Beth O’Leary’s “Swept Away,” and Sally Thorne’s “The Hating Game“—stories that balance swoon-worthy romance with substantive character development.
The exploration of class dynamics might also attract readers who enjoyed aspects of Bridgerton or Downton Abbey but prefer a contemporary setting. The behind-the-scenes glimpse of life on a grand estate, from both the family’s and workers’ perspectives, adds a fascinating dimension to the love story.
Final Thoughts: A Romance That Will Stay With You
“What If I Never Get Over You” delivers what Paige Toon promises in her tagline: it makes readers “feel it all.” The novel takes you through a full emotional spectrum—from the giddy excitement of first connection to the devastation of loss, the thrill of rediscovery, and ultimately, the healing power of love.
What makes this story particularly satisfying is that both characters must grow independently before they can truly be together. Their happy ending feels earned rather than gifted, the result of difficult choices and personal evolution.
The epilogue, which jumps forward to show Ellie and Ash building their unconventional life together, provides the perfect balance of closure and hope. Their decision to name their twins after their deceased best friends—Taran and Stella—creates a touching full-circle moment that honors the past while embracing the future.
For readers seeking a romance that offers both escapism and emotional depth, “What If I Never Get Over You” delivers beautifully. This is Paige Toon at her best—writing with heart, authenticity, and a keen eye for the complexities of modern relationships.
